Maternal Instinct: Sex After Kids? 8 Months to Start Again


It was a difficult decision: I was scared, I thought I was too young. But now I’m happy to have done it.

One day I went out for a walk with Teo, who was a few months old at the time. It was May and the air was filled with pollen. In order to protect him, I covered the stroller with a tulle. Suddenly, a stranger came up to me and said: “You’re suffocating him, you’re crazy!” I wanted to retort: “Who are you? What do you want from me? Keep these feathers yourself!” But I was too shocked to say anything. I always think of the right answers afterwards. That’s when Lodovica Comello takes advantage of them: the 33-year-old from San Daniele del Friuli incorporates them in the script of The Asciugona, her very popular podcast about motherhood. It is available on Spotify and in video on her Instagram profile, now in its fourth edition. In short episodes of a few minutes, she speaks about the joys and sorrows of being a mother, from saying goodbye to diapers to the curse of WhatsApp chats, from parent competition to the drastic downsizing of social life after the birth of a child.

Did a new mother’s career also suffer a drastic downsizing? It happened to me. Ever since Teo’s arrival (three years ago with her husband, TV producer Tomas Goldschmidt), I felt like I was cancelled in many ways, including work. Now that Teo is more independent, I can’t wait to get back into the game. I want to do it, not only for my own pleasure, but also to make my son proud of me. I would like to be able to tell him: “Look at the nice thing mom did.” In fact, a new program on Radio 105 is about to start. It’s called 105. Her, him, the other and it starts in June. Along with two other speakers, Edoardo Mecca and Dario Niccolani, we will comment on current events every day, comparing my female perspective with their male perspective. I’m very excited: I missed the radio. Now that Italia’s Got Talent has passed to Disney+ and his hosting has been entrusted to others, will he miss the TV too? I was very attached to that program: after seven years I felt like family. But it’s also time for me to try new things. For example? I would like to develop The Asciugona: from a podcast it can become a talk show and even a sitcom like Love Bugs. The numbers are there: as soon as the fourth edition came out, it was first in the rankings, among the most listened to programs, for weeks. People were waiting for it. Many mothers wrote to me that it made them feel less alone. Maybe I make fun of things that, in certain moments, can be perceived as dramas. With jokes, it knocks down many stereotypes about motherhood, especially the importance of maternal instinct. I mean that it is not a law. Every mother has her own emotional journey: maybe some are not immediately invested with a totalizing dedication, but this does not make them less capable. There are many women who, when faced with their baby, do not know what to do, they feel lost. Is this from experience? Yes, I felt lost. There were moments when I didn’t even want to hold him in my arms. Can you tell us about it? I was overwhelmed by a breastfeeding that didn’t start. And I couldn’t make peace with Teo’s desire to always be attached. I felt the extreme need for a bit of space for myself, but we were in full lockdown and I couldn’t go out. I went to the other room, I heard him screaming and it felt like I was going crazy. It was a hard start, I cried often. In one episode of The Asciugona, I admitted: “I didn’t imagine myself as a mother and I don’t even know how much I wanted it”. Pregnancy happened? Not really. It was a difficult decision: I was scared, I thought I was too young. But now I’m happy to have done it. My maternal instinct has grown over time, and I hope I can make my son proud of me.


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