The End of a Love Story
Nobody knows why love is born, but everyone would like to know why it ends”. Sonia Bruganelli and Paolo Bonolis are sitting opposite each other. She listens to him, even though the decision to talk for the first time about the end of their story and the beginning of a new life together – no, it’s not a contradiction, you’ll find out – was more of Sonia than of Paolo, who jokes about it: “They told me I had to come, and I came”. “We are separated, yet we are closer than ever. We will continue to be so for our family, between us. The feeling is strong, but it is no longer the one that brought us together”.
What wasn’t Working in Their Relationship?
How long have you been separated? Sonia: “It’s not a matter of dates, of time. We are parents, we will continue to take vacations together, we will maintain the same dynamics. That’s the news. There are no third parties or lovers involved”. Paolo: “Maybe then they come…”. S: “At that point they will no longer be lovers. For our children we have always been mom and dad, nothing changes. Only the physical relationship is missing”. P: “Which is fun”. S: “You can also do it when you separate”. P: “It would be different”. What wasn’t working in your relationship anymore? P: “For a certain period Sonia had difficulty staying in a situation that was no longer hers. She tried, and for that I must compliment her, until it was useless to continue. We confronted each other, she explained, I understood. You can’t expect a person to live differently from what they feel they are. With a bit of civility and good conscience you accept the change. Things happen, the important thing is to move on because you can’t go back”.
Accepting the Change
Did it hurt you? P: “I was sorry, of course. But it is not conceivable that the life of others must necessarily correspond in every way to yours. If it takes other trajectories and has other objectives, they must be considered, especially if we are talking about a person to whom you are fond”. Was it hard to accept it? P: “It wasn’t easy”. Sonia moves the stool to look Paolo in the eyes: “You never said these things to me, I want to hear them well“. P: “Believe me, I said them! As much as you take an obligation and try to make it continue, if the inner forces are greater than the outer ones they must be followed, otherwise continuing can be worse than interrupting”. Sonia, excuse me, what exactly broke? S: “I couldn’t live with enthusiasm some of the things that are part of a couple’s relationship anymore. Since my father died, then, I have projected the bond I had with him on Paolo, who has thus become a friend, a confidant. When we got engaged I was 23, I wasn’t even graduated, he was a man. Only over time and in the face of certain circumstances have we become aware of our differences. We tried to overcome them, but there was nothing to be done“.